Constant Crossroads

Today’s post is by a writer, CrossFitter and mother of three named Leah Thompson.  I have had the pleasure of being Leah’s life coach over the past six months.  I am humbled and excited by the transformation that had happened in Leah’s relationship with her body over those months.  Leah came to coaching wanting to get off what she called the roller coaster of waging war with food and her body.  She has done just that. 

Leah wrote the post below (not knowing it would be published anywhere), after one of our sessions.  I think it speaks to one of the coolest things that I am noticing with my coaching clients that come to work on their body images issues.  They find that once they “get off the roller coaster” a world much bigger than their bodies open to them.  The possibility of the life they were born to live- begins to manifest.  That it the miracle and the motivation for this work. 

Thanks so much Leah for this most awesome contribution to Radical Hateloss.  Please check out Leah’s blog at leahthemom.blogspot.com

Constant Crossroads

By Leah Thompson

Everyday we stand before an infinite amount of possible choices laid out before us.  Some paths are obvious.  Maybe they are familiar roads we travel frequently, on automatic pilot.  The choice to travel these roads doesn't require much thought or challenge.  They are 'safe'.  Even if we don't particularly like the outcome of these paths, the result of this decision is ingrained in our habits and behaviors and therefore not as scary to choose.

Then there are unknown paths.  The ones where the entrance is overgrown with trees and dark and seems scary from the start.  We think they will be harder to navigate.  The outcome of this decision is unpredictable.  But what if just beyond that rough start is smooth sailing, sunny meadows filled with flowers and rainbows and butterflies and blue skies? 

It takes bravery and courage to choose the path less traveled at the crossroads.  If you take the time to feel the energy of the unknown path and just BE with the decision to take a chance, there is excitement there.  Possibility.  Hope.  The unknown can be exhilarating, not terrifying.  The problem with choosing the same old pattern/path you always do is you know what the end results are going to be.  While this path may be 'safe' it’s also not going to take you anywhere new. 

Let's talk about the invisible paths present at the crossroads.  The tangents life takes us on that we don't even know we're on.  What if we could consciously choose an option for ourselves that wasn't even on the table at first glance?  Create an entire new existence for ourselves just by choosing to not do what we've always done?  I love the quote about insanity is doing the same thing over and over exactly the same way and expecting different results.

How can you get to where you want to be?  Stop doing what you've always done! There is a choice, every second of every day in everything you do. We have the chance to change our destiny and chose, or better yet, CREATE the path we want to be on.  And we all have the strength, right now, to do it.

What We Want Most.

What we want most seems to be different…

Some of us want to lose weight, to be healthier and happier.

Some of us want to look in the mirror and love our body despite its imperfections.

Some of us want live a consistent healthy lifestyle aligned with our beliefs and values.

What we want may seem different but the truth is, we all want the same thing.

We want FREEDOM.

We want our relationships with our bodies to be easy, joyful & effortless.  We are imprisoned by countless time spent figuring it out, trying something new, beating our self up, and then beating ourselves up again because we beat our self up in the first place.  The energy invested in the struggle seems wasted- we can only imagine what we could do with it- if it didn’t get used up in vain. 

With the new year- most health and fitness businesses are offering programs designed to help you get what you want. They may challenge you to lose weight, or give up sugar, or adopt a new way of eating. 

Here is what I know:  In order to get what you want- you must first get what you want most….Freedom.  I too have a challenge for you.

I challenge you to do nothing.

For just one week…

….eat what you want.

… move when you want to, rest when you don’t

….think and feel whatever it is that you do. 

There is one thing that you have to do.

 You have to pay attention. 

Pay attention to how your body feels, how it reacts to what you choose.   Notice your thoughts and your emotions, without attempting to change them or discount them.

Stepping back and getting curious seems like nothing- but trust me it’s HUGE.    

After one week- you can go back to how you have been doing things all along.  What do you really have to lose?  Why not give it a try?

"To pay attention, this is our endless and proper work." -Mary Oliver

A Radical Women Q & A with 17 year old CrossFitter Darby Nelson

"Remember that at the end of the day, it’s not what others think about you, rather it’s how you hold and view yourself. "  -Darby Nelson

I met Darby Nelson a few months ago at a local CrossFit competition.  The first time I saw her that day she was smiling ear to ear, talking with CrossFit All-Star Christy Phillips.  Most 17 year olds idolize pop stars for their looks, but here was Darby excited to meet Christy, famous among the CrossFit Community for her physical fitness.

After the event I got to talk with Darby more.  I found out she got to participate in the CrossFit Games in 2011,  in the teen competition.  I also found out she is impressively strong; with personal records in CrossFit workouts and lifts women older than her would love to have. 

It was obvious to me that Darby was not your AVERAGE young lady- so it only seemed fitting that she be featured in a Radical Woman Q&A.  She is the youngest, but as you will see from the answers she is very wise for her age.

Tell me about Darby Nelson?

Well, my name is Darby Nelson. I am a 17-year-old female. I’m a senior in high school and a (near) future United States Naval Academy midshipman. CrossFit is a big part in my life, both helping coach and training myself; I also row for my high school and am a huge nerd when it comes to my class schedule.

You are a CrossFitter (with a pretty impressive record I'd say!).  How has crossfit changed your relationship with your body? Why do you think that is?

CrossFit has completely transformed my relationship with my body. I think when discussing bodily changes it is best to talk about nutrition. As they say working out is one hour but good nutrition plays into the other 23hours of the day. I came from a rowing background where (and any rower can attest to this) the more food consumed, the better. We, as rowers, eat before practice, after practice, and there have been a few been times where people have eaten during practice on the water. In the rowing world, socializing over food is the most prominent way of bonding off the water.

Entering the doors of my CrossFit gym, there are these crazy words being constantly thrown around like ‘paleo,’ ‘primal,’ and ‘zone.’ CrossFit has shown me that it is truly important about when and what foods I’m putting into my body. Now, I’m not going to lie, I’m not100% strict paleo… I wouldn’t even give myself the benefit of the doubt to say I’m 80/20, but I do try to follow the guidelines. (Please, don’t belike my father. They are guidelines. Robb Wolf is not God and Paleo Solution cannot be found in the religion section of Barnes and Noble.) There’s a big difference between coming from a world of eating anything to a world of eating anything that’s good for you.  

You like clearly enjoy exercise - what advice would you give other women about how they can enjoy working out?

Do it with your friends. CrossFit is so powerful because of the community we constantly harp about. It’s not just that you have friendly faces to look at while you’re constantly suffering, but you have mutual subjects to chat about, friends to give you grief when you don’t show up, and people to cut your calluses with.

Also, and this is a big one for me, remember to keep it light. We can all get way too enveloped in doing CrossFit, talking about CrossFit, competing in CrossFit, and watching CrossFit videos. Remember: we do it because it’s fun; if you forget this you are probably going to burn out.

How is your relationship with your body different than those of your peers?

I’ll start by reiterating that I am a seventeen-year-old girl. Let’s take a moment to think back about what it’s like to be a girl in high school…

Remember those boy-crazy, make up-covered, high heel-wearing days? Yup, those are my peers and that’s the complete opposite of who I am. Also, being that my arms are bigger than most of my female peers’ legs, I’m quite used to getting judged for my size. Most of my friends and acquaintances think all the stuff I do is cool but I do often get second-glances from people that don’t know me. It is actually quite funny to me because I know of multiple guys that are scared of me for my size, as they probably should be! It’s good for me though, I have a pretty good reputation and no one usually messes with me.

Darby pulling 335lbs for a national record!

What really matters to you in terms of your body?
For my body I want to be strong and healthy as possible. I do CrossFit to prepare for my rowing and to prepare for my time at the Academy, but more importantly to be ready for anything. My friends love to make me help them move because a 335-pound deadlift really comes in handy more times then you’d think when trying to move that couch you’re sitting on!!

What would you say the biggest struggle girls your age have with their body image?  What do you think would change it?

Being attractive doesn’t mean being a stick figure. In this day and age girls focus too much on what the media and popular culture says is “pretty” and “beautiful” rather than deciding that themselves. Media has become such a staple in our lives that it wants us to believe that these “pretty/beautiful” people are the healthy ones, as opposed to those who work hard, eat well, and live long. A man who thinks that Camille LeBlanc-Bazinet and Lindsay Smith aren’t attractive should be slapped across the face. I’d say do some research and make up your own mind as to what the ‘best’ body image is; I bet a lot of girls out there would be surprised at what they found.

If you could convince the little girls of the next generation one thing in relation to health, fitness or body image what would it be?

Strong is sexy - in more ways than just physical. Being able to think and act for yourself is such a powerful feeling. Mental, emotional, and physical strength will support a lifestyle that’s desired by most and held by few. Remember that at the end of the day, it’s not what others think about you, rather it’s how you hold and view yourself.

What makes you radical?

I’ve been in control of my life and unaffected by people’s opinions of me. I am head captain of my crew team, will graduate high school with over a 4.0 GPA, have set a national record for deadlifting, and will become a commissioned Naval officer. I think I’m doing just fine in my own non-traditional ways. I’d suggest you give it a try and see how it works for you!

I am so glad there are young women out their like Darby, moving to the beat of their own drum, challenging ideals, redefining convention.  Thanks to Darby for taking her time to for this Q&A.  I have no doubt that she will be successful in whatever is she does in life and that she will have a positive impact on many people, especially other women her age, and in turn the next generation.

Attention CrossFitters…

Coming soon in 2012 the Radical Hateloss Discussion Series for women who CrossFit.  Please take a few moments to complete this survey.  If you or someone you know, would be a perfect special guests for one of these calls- please contact me at Stephanie@radicalhateloss.com