Friday, September 16, 2016
My Life & Yours
I've struggled with depression for probably my whole life. I finally decided to take medication consistently in my 20s and have taken it ever since then. In my thirties I've started to also have anxiety issues which I've had to get treatment for (and currently deal with) I've never actually wanted to kill Myself but I have thought about cutting myself so that I could feel pain on the outside like the inside. I have wanted to go to sleep and not wanted to wake up. I've risked my life by abusing drugs, alcohol and other things to numb my pain. My father was hospitalized many times for drug addiction and depression and suicidal thoughts. My mother struggled with depression and anxiety. Both sides of my family struggle with depression rampantly. My best friends father shot himself when we were in the 11th grade. One of my sons soccer team mates jumped off the Ben Franklin last month. There are 3 other families I'm connected to who are burying loved ones who lost their battle with mental illness this week. I have had countless conversations with friends and Acquaintances feeling lost and hopeless, plagued by anxiety, sometimes with thought of ending it all. Mental Illness is real. It's nothing to be ashamed of...you know why? Because look around you at school, at work, at the mall, at the gym and I guarantee someone around you struggles with mental illness or someone they love does. We aren't supposed to talk about it. Maybe because it's not supposed to be a real thing like a physical disease. Or maybe because it makes us look weak. But dammit we need to start talking about it. We need to change the script. Quite honestly mental illness is the root of a lot of the shit that's plaguing our society and we aren't talking about it. Well I'm talking it about it. My life is affected by mental illness and so is yours.