Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Discipline, Patience & Hard Work

A little over four years ago I decided I loved my body as it was. I was over weight and out of shape, having gained weight after having gone through the most drastic of measures to change it, a gastric bypass surgery.  Despite the weight and the shame of that failure I decided, I didn't need to change a thing to find happiness.  And the funny thing was that was exactly what I found. 

Suddenly I had relationship with my body I never could have imagined.  I discovered when the goal was to love my body, to connect with it, it was easy to exercise and eat better.  I found CrossFit and my life changed forever. 

The first three years were all about JOY.  Joy and discovery of my body.  Learning that I could accomplish amazing things, just by having fun!

I am very good about listening to my intuition.  Always have been.  When the universe dropped CrossFit before me, I didn't ask questions, never looked back (even though common sense would have said, "what are you crazy?) 

About a year ago I was happily plugging along on my fitness journey doing CrossFit a few times a week, adult gymnastics, yoga and whatever else met my fancy.  When all of a sudden I was struck with the idea to add a weightlifting practice to the mix.  I had always loved the Olympic lifts…so why not?  But I was clear in the beginning it would be just for fun, I didn't want to compete and I didn't want to stop doing all the stuff I was doing….after all I was having a blast doing everything!

The universe had other ideas. 

Somehow between last fall and now I went from "having fun" to working closely with a lifting coach, training hard (which means cutting out most of the other stuff) and taking on a goal of qualifying for the American Open. 

I'm not exactly sure how that happened, but I know that all throughout I've been following a gut feeling, that this is what I am meant to do.  That there is a lesson I need to learn, that this process is the start of a bigger evolution in my life that is to transpire.

And today I'm writing to share what I think that lesson is. 

The process of me becoming a weightlifter has not been easy.  Its been difficult in so many ways.

Transitioning away from CrossFit, which I coach and hold dear for what it gave me was not something I choose lightly.  I'd say it looked more like kicking and screaming. 

The two Weightlifting meets I competed in were not "ground breaking" experiences.  I failed many lifts and didn't even come close to lifting weights I'm capable of.

 My progress in terms of  weight on the bar has  been somewhat stagnant and at times retroactive.

 I have had to deal with one frustrating injury after another. 

 Training is mentally demanding and frustrating.  I have cried many times. 

 You see I don’t think things are coming easily for a reason.  If they did I wouldn't be learning what I need to learn most at this juncture in my life. 

 Even when you love what you do, and are clear and confident in why your are doing it, it's not always going to be easy, its going to take hard work, discipline and patience.   

 This is what I need to learn.

 I've never had a goal I stuck with and accomplished.  My history is full of things I gave up on that were too hard, or that I got bored with. 

 If I am to be the very best version of myself.  If I am to make the change I would like to make in the world, I need to learn this lesson.

 Once again my experiences with my body are teaching me about life.  It seems I need to feel it literally in my bones, before it becomes possible elsewhere.

 It's funny how life is.  How we are always evolving, always growing, always in a process of triaging the next big thing that will help us become more of who we are meant to be.

 It's not always easy and transition is uncomfortable, but alas it is essential.

It's in the in-between that our lives shift for the better…I will continue to trust in this as I continue on this journey.


Gene said...

You're making the face....

Fresh and Feisty said...

Glad you are enjoying what you love. I found the thought dump you had us do in the coaching class I took from you almost 2 years ago. I still struggle with many of the things there and the last year has been rough (baby and a divorce) but I know I am better equipped to deal with the issues and continue to strive to move forward and evolve in a positive way! Thanks!!!

Stephanie Vincent said...

Was it really that long ago!!!! So glad to hear you can see your own evolution! It's an amazing thing!