Thursday, September 1, 2011

Being With What Is

We desperately want to change. Change our bodies, change our negative thoughts and emotions about them or change unhealthy habits and behaviors. 

Time after time, day after day we continue to want to change what is. Our wanting is all consuming.  What if you just stopped wanting change and decided to just be with what is? 

“BUT If I don’t want to change how will my body or my thoughts about my body ever be healthy?”

 “If I stop wanting things to be different won’t my body, my health, my life spiral out of  control?”

How has your endless wanting things to be different, day after day, probably even year after year worked for you? 

Why not give “Being with what is” a shot?

Lay down your judgments, lay down your frustration, lay down your guilt and resentment and lay down your attempts to convince yourself you are good enough.

Lay down the fight, the battle, and the endless resistance of what is…..and just be with whatever is there.  Be with the negative thoughts, be with the extra weight, be with the food issues.  Allow them to be and get very curious.  Pay attention to them in an unattached way.  Pay attention to what happens when you allow them to be, instead of making them your enemy.

Time and time again I see magic happen when a woman is brave enough to be with what she most wants to be different.  Sometimes she discovers something she didn’t know before like “I’m scared to not have it, its all I know, who will I be without it?”  She often begins to notice a separation between her authentic self and her thoughts, her emotions or her behaviors.  She experiences what was wants so very negative, begins to lose its charge. She starts to feel more present, more capable, more empowered, more free.  And the most amazing miracle is when the change she has desperately sought begins to happen, without her even trying.  

My challenge to you:  In the next week, take the very thing you are fighting most with and just be with what is.  When you notice thoughts, feelings or behaviors related to it…do nothing to stop them.  Instead say yes to them, welcome them into your existence, and allow them to be as they are.  As you do this, pay attention to what happens. 

If you take the challenge I’d love to hear from you about what the experience is like! Please drop me a line at


Check out 5th Element Fitness a new blog I am a contributing writer for on the role of mind, emotion and spirit in crossfit. 


Fresh and Feisty said...

What if we don't know what it is that we are most fighting with...if maybe it feels like we're fighting it all?

Stephanie Vincent said...

Fresh&Feisty- I would love to explore "it all" with you more. What is the essence of it, the essence of the struggle?...that is where id start. Feel free to email me at

Sigi said...

It was just right for me to hear this today, Stephanie - thanks.