Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Problem with Skinny & Fat

I don’t care if a woman is skinny with not a muscle to be seen or with abs of steel. I don’t care if a woman is fat by a few extra rolls or an extra 100lbs.

I care if a woman becomes skinny with methods that are physically or emotionally unhealthy.
I care if a woman feels like she always has more work to do, regardless of how healthy or fit she is.
I care if a women feels like food has more power than she does.
I care if a woman’s weight plays a part in the onset of disease or affects her ability to participate functionally in the daily tasks of her life.
I care if a woman refuses to love her body, unable to accept her genetic differences from others & our cultural ideals.
I care if a woman’s day can be ruined by a minute on the scale, no matter how healthfully she lives the remaining 23hours and 59mins of the day.
I care if a woman defines her self by any set of numbers.
I care if a woman experiences nutritious foods and exersize as a sacrifice and a struggle.
I care if a woman is role modeling to the next generation, “I am not good enough”

Skinny & fat are nothing more than descriptors of physical size. They have nothing to do with the ability to be experience a sense of self worth, happiness and personal satisfaction. They are independent of emotional well being and have little to do with actual physical health.

We each have attached a personal value to these words, at least at some point in our lives. Fat & Skinny, Good & Bad….its all relative to individual and circumstance. Whether the value is positive or negative really doesn’t matter.

It is the value itself that has led us astray. What difference truly does it make what size we are? How would our lives change if our size and shape didn’t matter? What if what mattered was the quality of our lives? What if what mattered was how well we cared for and loved our bodies- independent of how that care affected our physical appearance?

The problem with skinny and fat, aren’t with the bodies they describe. The problem with skinny and fat is the belief that those bodies will either bring satisfaction or push it away. Your body isn’t what makes you sad, and a different body will never make you happy.

Happiness and satisfaction are yours in the moment you realize your worth is independent of your physical appearance…and so is real health, both emotionally & physically.



"We have all a better guide in ourselves, if we would attend to it, than any other person can be. "

~Jane Austen


Want to know a secret? Sometimes I struggle...struggle with what I still cannot do in the gym (like the new monkey bars that were installed yesterday which everyone but me seemed to be able to do). I struggle even though I have made progress that is amazing. Even though I am fortuante enough to have things I excel in and can be competitive in. Even though I know that through accepting what I can do in each moment, I move towards the highest possibility of what my body can do. Life is fullof moving away from ourselves, and finding our way back into alignment with them. Moral of the story: Be easy on yourself- its all a part of the process. The bad moments are just as important as the good ones, if not more.



Mel_Joulwan said...

Amen, sister. I'm lovin' what you're throwing down.

Dorothy said...

Thank you for changing my life!
I think I am finally breaking free of defining myself by a number and it is amazing. I realize now that all the previous "restriction" on myself was driven completely by fear. Today I am not as afraid as I was before I met you. So thank you for giving me the courage to let go and be free.

Anonymous said...

Aww Dorothy!!! I am incredibly blessed to be able to make an impact on others....especially considering my I am imppacting them positivly on the very issue that was my demon. If you would of told me I'd be helping people love their bodies and be healthy 3 years ago...i would have laughed.

Love you girl!

Denise said...

Something just clicked inside of chest. I swear. I understand and I get it.

I found my way over throguh Melissa's post about you yesterday, and you are going in my blogroll for sure. Thank you so much.

Stephanie Vincent said...

Denise- its amazing when things, JUST CLICK. So glad to be a part of it.

Stay in touch!