Two days later, the interview played live over the internet. As it started I buried my head in the pillows expecting the worse. As the interview progressed, I realized that I did sounded clear and passionate. That I had communicated what I had intended too. I accepted the known fact that I am verbose, but over all enjoyed it! What a relief!
The whole experience got me thinking about perspective. A definition of perspective is a “mental view.” Our mental view of ourselves and our actions are often times very different from the view from outside of us. No matter how many times the outside world give us feedback contrary to our own perspective we hold fast to our perspectives….especially the ones that cast us in a negative light.
The other day I was in a plus sized store and had a conversation with a saleswoman who had recently had a gastric bypass surgery. She asked me, “Do you know how you look? People tell me all the time how small I am getting, but I can’t see it” The question stopped me in my tracks for a moment. I knew EXACTLY the feeling she was talking about. Not really KNOWING what you look like. Like your self-image is in conflict with your image in the mirror. Also feeling not “good enough” even though everywhere you go people are praising your weightloss. I lost my footing for a second, because her question made me realize…..that I actually for the first time in my life feel congruent. I feel like what I see in the mirror matches what I see in my head. People praise me, and I feel just as good about myself as they do about me, even if it may be for different reasons. So what changed?
For the majority of my life my view of myself and my world came strictly from a “mental view” My thoughts, my judgments, my ego, my beliefs. However my radical hateloss involved a shift to what I call a spiritual perspective. My view of myself now comes from a place beyond the mental. It comes from the place where I am connected to all people, to the divine. And from the perspective I can take in the praise and positive feedback from others.
Sometimes things happen, like the Crossfit Radio interview, that cause me to lose the spiritual perspective. I slip write back into the more visited mental perspective. Judging myself, judging what others will think of me. Believing the worst possible version of myself is the truth. Luckily, the moment I heard myself speak, I felt myself slip back into the higher perspective.
You probably have a perspective of your body. That it is not good enough, that it would have to change for you to be satisfied, that you need to lose more weight. You probably believe these things are true, even though others have told you, “you are beautiful the way you are” or “you don’t need to lose weight” or numerous other things. Your significant other, your children, your parents if the relationships are healthy could care less about how you look. So why do you? Ask yourself this question, “What if my beliefs about my body are completely false?” If they were not true….if you didn’t need to change a thing to be healthy, to be happy, to feel satisfied starting in this very moment…how would that change your life?
“The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
P.S.This weekend was the 215 Affiliate Challenge. Crossfit King of Prussia took on Crossfit Inspire. The first event involved head to head challenges. I was put in for the 500m row against a very strong woman from the other team. Competition is my friend, and I dropped right into the zone. I put every piece of myself into the challenge. I finished the row in record time 1:39:04. After I finished from my PERSEPCTIVE I was perfectly fine but for some reason my team mates were lowering me to the ground and telling me my lips were blue. After sitting on the floor for a minute I asked, “Did I win?” (I did!) It took me ten minutes or so before I realized that in the 5mins after the row I was in an altered state of consciousness due to oxygen deprivation. Another example of how those outside of our own head often get a better view of what’s true!