Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Big Deal with My Gastric Bypass

If you know my story, than you know I had a gastric bypass surgery almost 7 years ago. I am sure there are people out there that look at the changes I have had in my body over the last 15 months and think, “No Big deal she had ‘that’ surgery!.” To some it doesn’t matter that after losing a lot of weight I still wasn’t satisfied with my body ( I would have thought losing 160lbs would have made me happy) It doesn’t matter that even with a smaller stomach and bypassed small intestines I managed to gain back significant weight.

I have to say, I agree the fact that I have lost weight is not a BIG DEAL. I try to remind people when they complement me that my real success is not the pounds that I have lost. The big deal is that I am HAPPY DAMMIT! I didn’t feel happy after I lost weight, or after I changed my diet, or after I found CrossFit. I was happy on day ONE, over a year ago at 320lbs. The big deal is the healthy lifestyle I am now living DOESN’T FEEL LIKE WORK or SACRFICE!! It’s lived with joy and ease! But the fact remains that I DID have gastric bypass surgery. People want to know, how I feel about it now.

When I had gastric bypass surgery I knew it wasn’t a magic answer to my problems. I choose it as a tool that had the best success rate out of all the others at the time. I knew what my risks were and I assumed them. I knew that I would have to do emotional work as I physically lost weight. And I did, however things got much worse before they got better, but my surgery was a part of my process and for that I am grateful.

Gastric Bypass Surgery is a tool. So are diets, exersize routines and plastic surgery. They are simply tools that profoundly affect your body and often its appearance. What they don’t do is change how you feel about yourself on the inside. If someday they design a pill that you take that makes you thin, fit and gorgeous without any repercussions or work on your part….most people who take it will still find they are not happy, better yet they are not content.

Most tools will change your body, some better than others, some faster, some more positive to your over all health. However our tools are only as good as our reasons for using them. The tools will ultimately fail in one way or another if we choose them thinking that results they may give us will make us happy. We won’t get results, won’t keep results or find that we are brutally unhappy after we get the results we thought we were looking for.

So you might wonder from my new perspective…do I recommend other people to have weight loss surgery? I have same answer to that question as I do to the questions….should I have plastic surgery?...should I try this diet?...should I try the latest exersize fad?

My answer is that you should research the tool you are considering. How it works, how effective is it short-term and long-term, what are the risks, how might it impact the rest of your life. And besides that, know this: The tools and the results they may give will not bring contentment to your life. They are JUST TOOLS: they will work if they are used. But what will keep you using them a year from now? What will make them easy and fun to use? What will allow the tools to make the most positive change in your life? What will make the results they bring truly satisfying? The answer is self acceptance and self-love. Tools used from a place of WHOLENESS…will be effective; in a way you may never thought was possible.

“How the hell do I get to wholeness?”

You are already there. You are WHOLE now… at this moment, whether you choose to acknowledge it or not. WHOLENESS is ready and waiting whenever you decide to align with it.

So in a perfect world you would first align with wholeness and then choose and use your tools. That’s often time it’s not the way it works. I needed lots of failed “tool use” to get to where I am today. Sometimes the successful use of tools can lead us to wholeness too. Sometime we choose tools from a place of wholeness, but somewhere down the line the old beliefs sneak in and derail our best intentions. So don’t wait to start “using tools” until you’ve got the self-love thing down pat. You can start now, but pay attention…to your feelings, your beliefs, your expectations. Like the gastric Bypass was a part of my process, the tools you choose will be a part of yours.

Containing all components; complete... 
Not divided or disjoined; in one unit..
Not wounded, injured, or impaired; sound or unhurt..
Having been restored; healed"


The Paleo Chix Post that inspired this post!


I am feeling great in my workouts over the last month or so.  I have increased my membership to unlimited and am going 4-6 times a week (i was a 3/weeker for the first year of crossfit).  I am seeing gains and improvments.  I am committed to doing the thing that is best for me long term rather than what will be easier in each workout.  Often times that choice has me finishing last among my peers.  However yesterday we did the Crossfit Total, a way of measuring strength.  You have three shots to get your one rep max in each of these lifts Back Squat, Shoulder Press & Deadlift.  I got a 210 on the back squat with full depth in my squat! 105lbs on my shoulder press and replecated my competition PR of 300 on the dead, for a total of 615 (a year ago my score was 520.)  Yesterday I didn't come in last, I was #1 on the crossfitkop leader board and that felt good!  How cool is it see all these results, when I'm having so much fun doing the work that affords them??


vwdiesel said...

So much of life can be missed if you consider your self to be 'not correct' - it is hard for people to understand I find, that I am generally comfortable in my own skin. Are there things I would change, yeah - but I only have myself in the way of doing that. 8-)

GREAT post.

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John Rowland said...

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