Wednesday, July 14, 2010

No Wonder

When I was a kid I would hear the family talk about my aunt. When she was gaining weight it would sound like this, “Did you see Tina, she is getting so fat.” When she would lose weight on the latest diet fad, it would sound like this. “Tina is getting so thin, but she is such a bitch, so conceited when she loses weight.” Talk about mixed messages…HATERS.

I am realizing lately that these mixed messages have affected me. I have always been conscious of the message that I needed to lose weight, that I was not good enough if I was fat. But what I realize now is that there was another message about being thin as well- that I’d be a conceited bitch if I was thin, not be myself anymore.

NO WONDER I struggled for so long….wanting something so badly yet being afraid of it as well.

I wonder if you can identify with this mixed message. I know you have been pressured by one source or another to be thin (and definitely not fat), but did you also get the message that when people lose weight they change?

It’s truly sad how much focus is placed on defining our self-worth by our weight. Even sadder is the fact that we are never truly worthy whether the number is up or down. That’s just messed up! We are literally damned if we do and damned if we don’t. I don’t know if that pisses you off but it makes me angry.

LADIES THE SELF WORTH SCALE IS BROKEN (pun intended)….stop using it!! It’s time for a new way. There is no scale that will give you an answer to when you are worthy, because you always are. EMBRACE IT.

I’m asserting a new message for myself and anyone out these ready to hear it….

FAT does not equal unhappy, unwhole or unlovable. I don’t care if your 120lbs or 300lbs, today you are good enough & acceptable. It is possible to love and accept your body for how it looks & feels today. There is no amount of weight you have to lose first. You’re fat, obese, overweight? WHO CARES? It’s got nothing to do with who you are or who you aren’t.

THIN does not equal bitch. Taking care of yourself is NOT CONCIETED! Being full of yourself is a GOOD THING. When you lose weight you cannot lose yourself, you can never lose the real authentic you, it’s always there waiting to be consciously chosen. If living in alignment with self love has made your body more beautiful & strong…take JOY IN THAT!

An oldie but goodie....
Stop the Fat Talk

"Had we not loved ourselves at all, we could never have been obliged to love anything. So that self-love is the basis of all love. "
-Thomas Traherne

The King & Queen of Prussia competition was a blast.  Check out the video I made of the day. I really am anxious to compete someday soon.  I guess since I never have played a sport, now that I have found MY SPORT, I wanna play, even if I'm still a bench player! 

Good luck to all the MVP's competing in the CrossFit Games this weekend, especially the team from CrossfitKOP!


KCLAnderson (Karen) said...

Oh my goodness...we grew up in the same family with the same aunt!!

Great post...great message!

Christine said...

Wow! I'm constantly amazed by how much alike we all are... I'm working on my stuff a lot recently. And it's hard. It's nice to know that there are other people out there who might understand what the hell it is that I'm talking about. Thanks!

Jessi J. Walton said...

So completely true. People always want to put others down to some how ease their own insecurity and self doubt. The biggest challenge we face, I think, is doing things for ourselves regardless of how others feel or think about it. One of the millions of reasons why I love crossfit, its just you against you, your sucesses and failures are your own. I am reading a book that incorporates Buddist teaching into self acceptance that has some interesting perspective on this same issue. We as a society really destroy each other and it is a shame.

Great post, thank you.

Mel_Joulwan said...

Someone very close to me -- whom I love a lot and who loves me a lot -- actually said once, "You were a lot nicer when you were fat."

How incredibly, totally F'ed up is that?!

This is a great post. Thank you for getting us thinking.

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much ladies...also good to know my experience is shared!

Yes that is COMPLETLY F'ED UP!!!

Aileen PonyGirl said...

Wow, what great insight.

Of course, why would your subconscious mind ALLOW you to get thin when it knows that you equate thinness with bitchiness?!

We are all supposed to be "good girls" right? And if being thin means being a bitch, well then..It's better to be fat and nice! What a mind-eff :(

I was JUST talking to Patty about this yesterday! It is all in our heads.

I'm hardly skinny but I'm a bitch and I'm proud of it LOL I have great boundaries because of my bitchiness.