Monday, April 19, 2010

What will WODlessness Teach?

In Late February I wrote a blog post about an injury to my knee. Since that time my knee has continued to give me problems. It turns out that I had a bucket handle tear in my lateral meniscus that required immediate surgery. I had the surgery this past Wednesday. The doctor was able to successfully repair the tear. There had been a possibility that the tear would have to be removed, which would have left the knee compromised, with most definite future pain, and having to consider restricting some movements from my body’s arsenal permanently. So it’s clearly a good thing that it was repaired, however with the repair comes extensive rehab and restriction. I will have to wear a brace for 4-5 weeks that stops me from bending when I weigh bear and will be banned from deep squatting and running for 4 Months.

At any other time in my life I wouldn’t have given a shit about deep squatting and running. However at this juncture, not being able to run and squat means not being able to CrossFit, at least not being able to Crossfit the way I want to. And despite my highest self telling me that “it’s all good” that fact is extremely frustrating to me.

I have been WODing at least 3x week for 7months. Only twice have I worked out less than 3x a week and on those weeks, I went twice. I have come to love being a Crossfitter. I enjoy being able to accomplish things I never have before. I relish in the WODs where I keep up with the rest of the class or can lift more than most of the other girls. I love the lifting, I mean really love it.

And its looking like the next four weeks will be WODless . Over the next four months I will return to WODS but they will be scaled, void of all lifting (sans a shoulder or bench press). Most of the time I will be doing something different than everyone else in the class. I will not be able to share in the same camaraderie after a WOD, doing a substituted version.

Those are some of the reasons why I am frustrated. And any crossfitter or athlete would understand. It’s no fun to sit on the bench and watch your team play a sport you love. It sucks. However as all things in life the first step is ACCEPTANCE of the suck.

So I am working on it….accepting the suck. Accepting the situation, as well as accepting my frustration with the situation.

Acceptance however is only the beginning. What comes after acceptance is LOVE. To me love is the EMBRACING PRESENT MOMENT. I know from experience that when I embrace the present moment, suck is amazingly transformed.

I have know doubt that this rehabilitation period is an opportunity for me to once again EMBRACE THE PRESENT MOMENT. Crossfit is a fabulous vehicle I have found that takes me to the present moment, specifically helps me to be present to my body. CrossFit has taught me what is possible when I am present to my body, and just how great that feels. I know that the experience is available to me even now, with my restrictions, even without CrossFit. Now that I know what it feels like to be connected to my body, I don’t ever want to stop. I know that there is a grand opportunity through this process to learn even more about what is possible, and I look forward to it.


"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

Still Caffiene Free!


Christine said...

I'm so glad the tear was repaired, but I'm so sorry that you have the struggles of therapy and the brace. I know how difficult it is to get into a habit of working out (I'm struggling myself right now) and know how easy it is to get out of the habit. Do you have access to a pool? I know I'm waiting for the moment I can get back in mine - but I also may be using it as an excuse too. It's a precarious situation, isn't it?

Anyway, I hope your recovery is easy and quick. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Thanks Christine!! When I initially found out about the surgery i did feel a little fear about the "habit of working out" but I am finding that the relationship I have with my body is stonger than ever before. Knowing that i work out for the LOVE of my body rather than it being something i "have to do or Should do" really has changed everything for me!

No access to a pool...that really would be great!!

Thanks for reading!!

Margarita Tartakovsky said...

Stephanie, I'm so sorry about your knee! I wish you a speedy recovery.

You're seriously such an inspiration. I love your positive attitude. And you're so right about working out for the love of your body. I love how you put that!

Thank you for a beautiful post - as always!