Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Real World...unfortunatly!


So last night, by no choice of my own (my husband is a reality TV junkie) I couldn’t help but watch episode 3 of the Real World DC. I remember a time when I thought the real worlders were so grown up…..now I feel like an old lady in comparison.  I remember the first Real World, this one is real world XXIII! I try to avoid reality tv (who needs other peoples drama!),  but I am glad I got sucked into watching this time because it got me all fired up...for change!


One of the real worlders is named Callie. Callie is a blond, beautiful and I would venture to say thin girl. In the episode they focus on her obsession with exercise and food. Then when one of the guys says she isn’t thin enough for playboy, she has a major melt down. (The picture to the left is her stewing after her housemates comment.) The girls spend time in the episode talking about their body images. Beautiful girls, by anyone’s standards talking about their bodies not being good enough, how they struggle or have struggled with their body images. I found myself yelling at the television, “You are a beautiful girl! STOP IT!” I couldn’t help it even though my husband kept telling me to shut up! The girls go out to a Mexican restruant where Callie confesses her obsession has to do with her mother’s constant focus on fitness and nutrition throughout her life. In the next breath she speaks about working-out later to the burn off the chips that they are eating.

For the first time…I can say The Real World….is actually sadly a reflection of the real world. I’m no expert but I think Callie may have an actually eating disorder. Her behavior may be extreme, but I think it is an exaggerated version of what most of us ladies do to ourselves. We are a nation of women self-hating, obsessing over imperfections, focusing on the numbers (scale or clothing) and generally feeling less-than and not good enough. And we are experts at validating these things in each other. And the SCARIEST part of it all is we are teaching our LITTLE GIRLS to do the same thing! There is no way to instill a healthy love and acceptance in the next generation, if we don’t start by doing it ourselves! I think that is a damn good motivation to make a change.

LOVE YOURSELF! Accept your imperfections! You don’t have to be thin to be beautiful, to be good enough! Forget about your weight and your size! Nurture your body with food and movement, not to lose weight but because you LOVE yourself! Stop the FAT TALK! DO IT NOW! Do it for the LITTLE GIRLS! DO it for YOU.


Beautiful Callie...if only she could see herself that way!

THANK YOU…all you RADICAL WOMEN out there who have transcended this culture in your own hearts and are waging war on self-hatred for all of us. One day, I hope and pray that the in the real world love and acceptance of oneself is no longer a radical undertaking, but commonplace!

What would it feel like for you to truly love and accept your body and yourself? Who would you affect by changing yourself?

Links:

WATCH THIS: Stop the Fat Talk
  
  When your self worth is wrapped around your weight and 7 ways to unwrap-it
 
  Quotes:
 
You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.
-Buddha

Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.
-Byron Katie

P.S.

More Radical Woman Q & A's are coming soon! I can't wait for you to meet some more ladies waging the war I mention above!
                                     

4 comments:

Cindy Handler said...

Great post Steph especially coming on the day when 23 year old Heidi Montag talks about undergoing 10 hours of plastic surgery "to feel good about herself."

c said...

I am just catching up on your last two posts, and I am kind of giggling because of how I wrote my answer to the "how are you radical" question you sent me. You'll know what I mean when you read it. :)

That said, this was a great post. And can I add a "HELL YES!!!!" to the point you make about educating the little girls in our life about loving their bodies. As an aunt to 5 nieces, I struggle with how I can portray a healthy self image to them even as I am still trying to figure out how to keep my own self image healthy.

Willow said...

The sad thing is that the little bitch inside my head looks at that picture of Callie on the couch, trims her arms and thighs by at least a third and says "NOW she's beautiful." How am I any different from the guy who upset her by telling her she wasn't thin enough?

Then she (the aforementioned bitch, not Callie) reminds me that I should be doing just what Callie is doing except better so I can be thinner.

Just goes to show how much I could use a blog like yours. Thank you for this; now that I have found you, I will be following you. My New Year's resolution this year, for once, was not to lose weight; it was to become accepting of my own form, or, as you put it, lose hate!

Stephanie Vincent said...

@ C: I LOVE your answer to why you are radical...brilliant!

@ Willow: The old patterns of the bitch within (we all seem to have) are hard to break! I think the first step is doing what you have done...you atleast know now that the BITCH is not YOU! Thanks for reading!!